Nacho Email

It can happen to anyone at any time. It comes out of the blue, like cold water splashed in your face that awakens you to a reality more horrible than you could imagine.

I call it the email-hijack.
And I don’t like it.

– – – – – – – – – –

So you are on a group email, figuring out plans for this or that. Pretty typical day. But then it begins, so innocuous you may not notice it at first. But that insidious little caterpillar can grow into a butterfly of doom. A Butterfly of Doom. [Repeated for dramatic effect.]

It starts off innocently enough. Just a quick added note at the end, for efficiency, right? It’s the “while I have you all here” mentality. I mean, starting a whole new email chain would take SO much effort for your unrelated inquiry. It’s just one little off-topic question.

But sidebars don’t work well in emails. And soon your tiny postscript has taken over.

It’s one thing to have an email conversation merge and transition over time. It’s another to prematurely steal the focus from an unresolved thread.

Questions never answered. Reservations never confirmed. Plans that crumble from lack of clarification like proverbial clay baked too long in the sun or dusty letters in your grandma’s attic.

Every time, an email-hijack to blame.

Email is one of those things where it is difficult to politely jump back in post-hijacking, and say “So anyways, back to me…” The hijack might as well be a death sentence. The original intention of that email is DOA, due to a lethal combination of too many subjects.

Pretty bird! Shiny object! DEAD EMAIL CHAIN.

Apathetic from distractions, the email chain fades to black. People never respond. The email has lost its purpose. Surely you cannot expect it to go on this way?

– – – – – – – – – –

Still confused? Here’s a breakdown in image format:

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Via: thegadgetflow.com
Via: thegadgetflow.com
Via: thisisbloggable.blogspot .com
Via: thisisbloggable.blogspot .com
via: giphy.com
via: giphy.com
Via: pinterest.com
Via: pinterest.com

– – – – – – – – – –

And now for the musical format for my audio-learners….Please enjoy the following songs, replacing “girl” and “boy” with “email”.

and

– – – – – – – – – –

Do you like being the murderer of plans? The killer of hopes and dreams? The assassin of meet up time coordination for dinner/drinks?

Don’t hijack emails, please. It’s just not very nice.

Just send your own damn email about your own event. Thanks.

Love, M.

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