Ah, the perfect mix of excitement and worry that is meeting a close friend’s new significant other.
Let me say this first… I am protective of my friends. I think anyone with positive close friendships is this way. At the end of the day though, friendship isn’t horribly complicated. I just want my friends to be truly happy.
This is where meeting the new “sig” comes in.
I know it’s nerve-wracking, the whole “meet the new bf/gf” situation. I rarely introduce people I am seeing to my friend groups. My friends are intimidating, I know. They are judgmental, over-protective, sometimes offensive people without filters. (They are, quite simply, the best.)
When you introduce your new sig, you want them to merge seamlessly into your friend group. You hope all of your friends instantly become a little infatuated with them.
From the friend side, I want this too. I am hoping and praying that when I meet the person my friend has been raving about that I develop a non-sexual man/lady crush on them. That my face lights up while I watch them interact and that my heart melts.
I want to adore them. I want to root for them.
And generally there aren’t many things that will prevent me from being instantly “Team You Guys.” Everyone wants their favorite people to find a favorite romantic person, right? My no-go’s are fairly obvious. If the new sig seems to be a drug dealer, addict, or meth-head, I’m unlikely to get on board. If he/she is rude and cruel, that’s not the best. If they are dismissive of you, if they don’t want to meet your friends, if they think american cheese is an acceptable option, then I will have a harder time being on their side.
(Though I guess I should be more open-minded on the cheese situation, as not everyone has been given the opportunities in life to love cheese like I have. Gives them room to grow I suppose.)
Even with all of the above, I will try to like them. (Yes, even with american cheese.) I will attempt to be understanding and let my like for them grow.
I do tend to like most people, in general.
Basically, if they do these four things they will be a winner in my book:
1. They make you happy.
2. They treat you well.
3. They bring out the best parts of you and accept the less than best parts.
4. They are generally good people and aren’t a racist, ignorant, judgmental, (etc) a$$hole.
(Pretty much the same basic qualities I find necessary for platonic friendship too.)
That’s all it takes!
I don’t need to totally click with them. (It’s not like I am looking to date them.) I don’t need to get all of their jokes. We don’t need to be besties. They don’t have to be what I pictured for you. They don’t have to be more attractive than your previous sig. They just have to do the above four things and I will take them in with open arms, and with not a hint of deception, I will tell you I wholeheartedly approve.
Do I sometimes think you could do better? Yes. Maybe. I most likely think you are a pretty amazing and incredible person if you are my friend. I am conceited like that, and think VERY highly of the people in my life. But if they meet that simple checklist, any comparisons or “grass is greener” tendencies will fly out the window. If you are truly happy, I am truly happy for you.
Luckily I rarely have to worry about this. My friends have good taste, natch. (I’m feeling extra modest today, it seems.)
Every time I meet a friend’s new bf/gf I hope that this new sig will be their unicorn… someone that is actually somehow more incredible than them. In which case I will tell ya don’t screw it up, put a ring on that, go buy a lotto ticket, etc.
If I don’t instantly fall in platonic love, I’m not going to tell them. And if I sorta dislike them because of questionable fashion choices or a strange laugh, I’m not going to tell them. I’m just not. That’s petty and silly and really none of my business. Most importantly, it is superficial. And unhelpful. And I will get over it.
(And maybe with enough hints we can always do a make-over episode… Those are always my favorite episodes.)