(I should preface this by explaining that while I am a skier myself, I use the terms skiing and boarding interchangeably, probably because most my friends are boarders. And this is a judgement-free zone where all winter downhill activities are equal.)
So it’s coming up to Thanksgiving time, and you may have already experienced some cold weather. Or some snow. Or something along those lines to make you realize that winter has snuck up upon us again.
Now you may be asking yourself… is it time for me to go skiing (or boarding) yet? Since I’m so nice, I have devised a simple questionnaire to assist in figuring out if you need to strap your feet to a board (or two sticks) and get up there…
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ARE YOU READY FOR SKI SEASON:
1. Is it winter?
2. Is there snow on the ground?
3. More importantly, is there snow in the mountains?
4. Have you located your gear and abominable snowman costume (aka: ski clothes) and put away your snorkel fins and volleyball net?
5. Have you been wearing a ski hat and gloves around your home just because you miss the feel of winter gear on your body?
5b. Do you have to run your a.c. because you are a crazy person wearing ski gear indoors?
6. Has your summer tan (or conglomeration of freckles) already faded away leaving your skin pasty and sad looking?
6b. Has this new pale complexion led people to question if you are anemic?
6c. Are you ready for really awkward tan lines on your face?
(Which will hopefully also halt the anemic line of questioning.)
7. Have you been getting your nostalgia kicks on Facebook by primarily looking at photos from last season’s ski season?
7b. Have your recent #tbt pictures been of snowy mountains or reflections on goggles?
7c. Are you going to go on FB and look at ski pictures now that you read that question?
8. Do you find yourself having sporadic concerns that you have forgotten how to ski because it feels like forever since your last excursion?
9. Are you experiencing any dreams of landing gracefully and gloriously in cushion-y piles of refreshing white powder?
9b. Do you have a cocaine addiction? If yes, disregard the relevance of the above question.
Also, please get help. Cocaine’s not cool, ya’ll.
10. Have you been doing random searches on fly.com for cheap airfare to Zermatt, Mont-Tremblant, Chamonix, Cortina d’Ampezzo, and/or Whistler?
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If you have answered yes to pretty much any of these questions, then Congrats! You are ready for winter and ski season.
More importantly, if there is snow up on those mountains, then the winter sounds like it’s ready for you. Don’t leave it hanging. Go reconnect with the slopes and the snow.
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11. Have any one of your friends ALREADY posted pics of skiing on Facebook or other social media?
If yes, then you are already behind and cannot let them win! So get out there, silly!
TO THE MOUNTAINS!