A Random Act of Rage

Try Tindr they said.   It’ll be fun, they said.

Well ladies and gentlemen, within about 15 minutes of being online, I just experienced my first online dating Random Act of Rage.

(Or ROAR as I decided to call it right now in this second. Yep, that just happened. Sometimes I’m clever. And now I realize slightly dyslexic with my acronym, but go with it, will ya?)

– – – – – – – – –

Guys completely flipping their crap on online dating communication isn’t new. There are TONS of other postings with other examples of this. I have read many of them, chuckling about the poor misfortune of someone encountering this random psycho who because you said you prefer brie to havarti. (Cheese is a very serious topic, natch.)

But this was my premiere first hand experience. I unfortunately didn’t anticipate this happening and failed to take many screenshots. But it went a little something like this.

*WARNING: There is swearing in the text documented below. As well as jerky comments aplenty.*

** From here on, the “man” I was texting shall be referred to as Jerkface.**

*** For the record, I had just gotten back to CO from a trip up to MT and hadn’t reset my phone yet. So Tindr did match me with a couple out-of-state guys. I realized it early on and mentioned my distance to him, yet he kept texting.***

– – – – – – – – –

– So we start out with the normal chatting, “how was your weekend?” etc etc. Back and forth, probably four or five times. Nothing leading, nothing suggestive, nothing out of the ordinary. Some comment is thrown out there by him about “too bad you aren’t still here, we could have had fun.” I ignore it.

Then this happens:


– Now might be a good time to mention that my profile clearly states that I have no interest in casual hookups. Right there on the front page.

My witty (I thought) but laying down the law response:


– The conversation continues a bit, him asking me why, me explaining that I don’t share information like that with people I don’t know and have no interest in doing such. I try to be polite and apologize for any mis-communication, but I am firm in my stance. Yeah, I know, I should have blocked him right then, but how was I to know things would escalate?


(I have doubts, but maybe we are about to embark on a mind opening discussion?)


I try to say goodbye politely, understanding that we probably aren’t compatible…


(What really does “woman’s right activist” mean any more? I believe in equal rights for ALL humans… it was clearly not the time or person to get into a philosophical chat regarding gender equality, and semantics in today’s modern world…)

And I am met with the diarrhea of the mouth below:


I try once again to diffuse and exit…

(With yes, a tiny little snarky blow perhaps.)


– Then this:


– At this point I proceeded to:

(1st) Report him immediately to Tindr for inappropriate content before

(2nd) Un-matching and blocking his offensive existence and

(3rd) Close down Tindr and curl up in a ball for a bit.

– – – – – – – – –

I don’t deal well with ROAR. Of all the things in the world that really get under my skin, festering and leaving me feeling slightly ill and very unsteady, it’s random acts of rage.  Because there is no logic in them, no sense, to explanation. They make no sense to me.

I don’t get anger. I don’t understand rage. I get frustrated, sad, disappointed, competitive, sporadically violent towards indoor spiders, yes.  But I don’t really do explosive, aggressive lashing out. Just not my jam. So I can’t empathize. Because I don’t understand how people can be capable of that, especially when its sparked by tiny and meaningless things.

Are there things you should get up in arms and angry about? Of course. But, for example, honking, flipping me off, then following me for 10 miles because I merged with less than three car lengths between us is not one I can get behind. Or because I wouldn’t tell a random stranger “my favorite foreplay”.

Your extreme level of emotion doesn’t match the situation. My brain cannot compute.

I don’t like it.

– – – – – – – – –

Please don’t think that I am bashing Tindr. I actually think fairly highly of it, with several good examples of people meeting their solid significant others on it. This isn’t a problem contained to one platform, one dating website, one online app… It’s the same trolling and offensive comments that show up in blog comments, YouTube feedback, basically ANYWHERE on the internet.

I will probably get back on Tindr one of these days. My app keeps informing me that I have other matches, messages, etc. And it is highly unlikely that I will instantaneously and accidentally offend someone again to the point that they go off like a sailor-mouthed firework. Right? I hope?

And if I let one jerkface scare me off forever, then who really wins, right? Not me. And I can’t let some random act of rage keep a girl down.

That just wouldn’t sit well with the liberal, independent girl that I am.

Via: PBS.org
Via: PBS.org

2 thoughts on “A Random Act of Rage

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