It continues to not be Ok, Cupid.

Even when I’m not dating online anymore, I just can’t seem to escape from the horribleness of online pick-up attempts (and fails).

And honestly, who would want to? This stuff is FUNNY you guys, and even more so now that it’s happening to someone else and not me.

So I am shamelessly re-sharing the following lines, gifted to me from a couple of my lovely and brave female friends still navigating that black abyss that is OkCupid, Tinder, etc… (A big thank you to J and L for providing these gems.)

Please enjoy.

– “Are you a parking ticket?  Because you have fine written all over you.”  (Is this a joke?)

– “Do you have a map?  I keep getting lost in your eyes.” (Please tell me this one is a joke.)

(Spoiler… she did not click to read more.)

Same guy, with three terribly punctuated and spelled messages in a row:

– “One way or another your gonna notice me. :)”   (Leading with a vague threat? Interesting tactic.)

– “You should be orbiting around my center of gravity. instead pretty as you are.”  (You aren’t good at science, huh?)

– “There’s no combination words I could put on to try for your heart when our dreams are made up of real things.  One thing I know is it’s always better when were together.”

   (I don’t understand a single part of this. Nope. I just reread it. It makes no sense at all.)

And this text between L and I:

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

So yeah… it’s a rough world out there for the online daters indeed. But have faith and please continue to find amusement in the ridiculousness of people.

And to my brave friends, please keep sending me these beautiful disasters.

If you aren’t laughing yet (or want to laugh more?), you can find my previous reports of inappropriate online dating activities here and here.