I don’t make it back home as often as I would like to.
Usually twice a year, once over the holidays, once during the glorious-ness that is a PNW summer. Sometimes I sneak another little trip in there, maybe in the spring or fall, typically for an event or quick weekend.
And every time I’m home, I realize that everything changes… even the things we think stand still without us there.
– – – – –Every time I’m home, especially if my siblings join me, part of me becomes 15 again. Though I strive not to be, I can become a little moody and bratty (prerogative of the youngest, thankyouverymuch). It is so easy to fall back into old patterns and habits, even for a couple minutes, before recalling that you are a grown-ass woman.
But most of the regressions are sweet. Mostly it’s nostalgia and a propensity to soak up hugs while they are there.
– – – – –
This summer I made it home twice, short trips both of them. (always too short) And I brought friends with me both times, eager to share a bit of my family and history and most importantly, one of my favorite natural places in the world.
It’s interesting to see your home through the eyes of new visitors. It’s enlightening to hear how they see your familial interactions and how they can see the love even through your brief bratty-flashbacks.
It’s rewarding when others can see the beauty in your happy place. And hopefully take a little of it into their hearts as well.
You know how they say you can’t go home again?
Well, that’s somewhat true. It will never be the same as when you were 15. (Thank goodness, amiright?) People grow and change, buildings come and go, furniture fades in the sun and becomes dated… over time, tides will have reshaped the terrain of home.
But the important things are still there. The love is still there. The memories still exist. And home, this beautiful, magical place of your past also exists in your future, with infinite possibilities for new memories and experiences and family time. And yes, even the importance of temporarily reverting back to being 15 for a couple minutes.
– – – – –
This year has brought the sudden deaths of two of my dear friend’s parents. It’s made me remember how brief our time together can be.
You may not be able to really ever go home again. But you should try.
Call home, catch a flight, hop in the car. Send your family and dear ones your love. Mail a note, leave a message, and soak up all the hugs you can. Because life is short and crazy and random and sudden. And of all the things you should never wait on, telling people you care is top of the list in my book.