In clothing, I’m usually a medium. You know, Average.
I’m just over the median height for a woman in the USA.
My shoe size is typical. (I can NEVER find any cute sale shoes in size 8.5)
I have a slightly big head (and ego?) and a bit of the Swedish side when it comes to my chest, but otherwise pretty middle-of-the-road build.
Sure my personality might be bright and distinctive (and sometimes MUCH too loud), but in general, I am medium.
I am average.
This is clearly the case for me in fashion.
And I worry sometimes that I am average in life.
When playing a round of one of my favorite games “Find the Best Possible Word with Help From Thesaurus“, I threw out medium to see what other terms came back.
I am average. I am typical.
I am intermediate and moderate.
I am regular, ordinary, everyday.
I am commonplace, standard, mainstream.
I don’t like the sound of most of those terms.
And don’t want to be those things.
I am not like a former boyfriend of mine, who would would willingly admit to harboring Delusions of Grandeur.
I don’t want to be famous.
I don’t need to be rich.
I don’t crave rewards and trophies.
I don’t desire breaking records.
I don’t long to accomplish extreme feats.
I don’t believe writing my name in the annuls of history is important.
But I don’t want to be average.
I don’t want to be middle of the road.
I don’t want to lead a medium sized life.
I just want to do SOMETHING.
Something real. Something tangible. Something of impact and importance.
I want to live an extra-large life in my small little way.
When it is all said and done, I want the world to be better for me being in it, even if my ripples are minuscule to a global perception.
I am not exactly sure what that means.
Or how it the world to do it.
But I’m doing my best to figure it out.