To my ex… I am really happy you are engaged.

*This post is not sarcastic.

**Seriously. I am actually genuinely happy about this situation.

I just found out that my long-term ex boyfriend got engaged. I have never heard news that filled me with such an utter sense of relief and joy. Which I now understand is not the normal reaction to this kind of thing?

Well, let’s not say not normal… let us use the term typical. Being happy for a serious ex getting engaged is apparently not typical.

I have been told I am supposed to be like this:

via: joelbieber.com
via: joelbieber.com

Or like this:

Via: wifflegif.com
Via: wifflegif.com

But I’m not.

My emotions and reactions make perfect sense to me, but as I am well aware I don’t have typical girl reactions to most things. Such is (my) life.

…………………………………………………..

C and I dated for six years, including living together for about half of that. He was my first serious relationship. I even found out after we broke up that he had an engagement ring for me. (For the record… that is not information that anyone ever needs, no matter the situation. If you have such knowledge, please keep it to yourself. Forever.)

We broke up out of love, as Hallmark movie as that sounds. We needed to go different directions and were holding each other back. It was heartbreaking, but awfully mature for 26 years old in retrospect.

It would have been easy to stay in it and settle. It would have been easy to compromise and dilute our dreams down for each other. We didn’t. I’m eternally happy about that.

All in all it was a very positive relationship. I learned so much about myself and what I want in life, even more so after the relationship was over. And no regrets. Never any regrets.

…………………………………………………..

So that’s why my reaction is joyful.

Years later he’s settling down. He’s in a relationship worthy of marriage. I’m utterly and genuinely happy for him. And yes, relieved as well.

via: s891.photobucket.com
via: s891.photobucket.com

And I’ve been thinking of sending him the following message:

(Anything in parenthesis is explanation for you all. btw.)

…………………………………………………..

Dear C,

I believe congratulations are in order! Seriously, couldn’t be happier for you.

I think you know that happiness and good things were all I ever hoped for, for you. The news of your engagement genuinely put a smile on my face.

Our friendship has meant a lot to me over the years, especially for book recommendations. I hope that can continue. (He’s always been my go-to for book suggestions.)

Please send along my congrats and well wishes to Nicole (fiance) as well.  I think you two are adorable together.  

Again, wishing you both the greatest happiness and joy, especially in this next exciting adventure in your lives.

Hope the fam is great.

-M

…………………………………………………..

So yeah. Those are my thoughts. In a nutshell.

via: survivingcollege.com
via: survivingcollege.com

Maybe this is a first draft. Maybe this is therapeutic to just put it out into the internets. Maybe this is a terrible idea. Without really knowing the relationship that C and I had, it seems weird to ask for your approval for sending such a thing, dear blogosphere. But I did feel the need to share it with you first.

I’m still not sure if it needs sending. But it needed writing.

It’s not about closure. It’s not like I’ve been secretly pining over him. I don’t believe our relationship was meant to be forever.

But I care about him as a person, always have and always will, and feel like a weight is lifted. It’s like a “to-do” item from 4+ years ago is finally checked off… “Have C find happiness and love.

Check.

…………………………………………………..

I was always drawn to this song. I guess it makes more sense now.

P.S. I reserve the right to be a bit unhappy when the actual wedding happens… because all our mutual friends will be there celebrating and partying and hanging out. And I won’t get to see all them. That will most likely make me feel really sad and left out.

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