I’ve got 99 problems, but being flat-chested ain’t one.

So a while ago I wrote about some of the many annoying, frustrating and not so awesome things about having big boobs. (or as I like to refer to them as: “my shelf”).  I threw in a couple positives as well, such as cleavage being a good storage space for your phone or possibly a snack.

Today I would like to add a handful of other silly little things that are not to my advantage as a well-endowed female, if you all don’t mind too much.

Secret Ulterior Motives: I am hoping that by doing a SECOND post on this topic, my friend over at Perishable Item will finally guest-write the counterpoint post that she threatened…  please, speak up for the flat-chested girls!



– Borrowing Clothes, especially sweaters. (“Sorry, you will stretch out the chest area and it will never be the same. But you can borrow these pants.”)

– Necklaces, especially long strand or pendants (These either cuddle aggressively in-between or bounce violently against your shelf as you walk… never lying flat or looking quite right.)

– Sports Bras (UNIBOOB!)

– One Piece Sporty Swimsuits (Really Compressed Uniboob!)

– Uplifting Bikini Tops (Support simply doesn’t exist at my end of the alphabet.)



– Body BMI/Weight (Is there a standard deductible for being chesty? My shelf shouldn’t be allowed to count against my body fat %)

– Misconstrued Platonic Hugs (I was not pressing myself into you suggestively… those are just there all the time.)

– Good Posture (First, it can be difficult to maintain. Second, it can appear as if you are trying to show the girls off when you are just standing up straight.)

– Time and Gravity (Objects with more mass start to lose the battle to gravity over time, in case you didn’t know that.)


So perk up (ha) my less busty friends!

There are many, many advantages you possess, in both fashion and life.

And yes, there are advantages that all of us have, simply by being female.

Via: quickmeme.com
Via: quickmeme.com

One thought on “I’ve got 99 problems, but being flat-chested ain’t one.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s