Falling in love with the idea of you.

For a cynical, cold-hearted chick, I seem turn into a Disney character when it comes to love.

While I don’t let many people in, I get twitterpated about the concept and the potentials of a romance.

I think I fall in love (if we can use that term) with the idea of a person before I really get to the heart of it. I love the story and the idea of love.

I just don’t always like the reality. And I certainly don’t fall in love with it.

______________

I fell in love with your solidity. I loved the sense that you were an anchor, so steady and sure and settled. I fell in love with your old fashioned gestures and  implied wisdom in age. I loved your openness and seriousness. I loved that you introduced me to your parents and talked about our future, even though I wasn’t ready for that.

In Reality: You were a rock and I was water. I wanted to move and you wanted to stand still.

______________

I fell in love with our story, plot lines straight from a John Hughes movie. (other side of the tracks, meet cute and all) I loved our disparate backgrounds, the endless chances to learn and (honestly) the sense of superiority it gave me. I loved the feel of your adoration and amazement that you had “got me.”

In Reality: Disparate dreams and goals and outlooks on life can’t be overlooked in the long run. We were imbalanced from the start.

______________

I fell in love with the romance of long distance. I loved the comfort in shared history and personality traits. I loved the idea of reconnecting after almost a decade and having something grow from that. I adored the instant, effortless ease that being with you was, our brains in sync.

In Reality: We were too similar, with the same charms but the same flaws.  Ease doesn’t equal fire, and long distance requires a whole lot more motivation than either of us possessed.

______________

I am falling in love with the mystery of you…. for the fact that you aren’t my normal type. There is something in the quiet, unreadable depths of you that is catnip for a curious creature like me. I am falling for the challenge of you.

In Reality: I don’t really know you. And the things that draw me in now will most likely drive me away once the mystery is solved. I should accept this and cut my losses now… but the challenge is there and I can’t ignore it.

______________

I always fall in love with the potentials and maybes and could bes.

I fall in love with the idea of curling up on the couch, watching a movie with our hands intertwined.

I fall in love with the concept of comfort and partnership and sense of being settled.

I fall in love with all the possible adventures  to be had and silly photos we could take.

I fall in love with the conceivable futures and stories and forevers.

It is easy to fall in love with ideas. Falling in love with actual people is much more rare.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s