Ah, Instagram. Home of one-thousand sunsets and pseduo-vintage scenery. I only really embraced the popular app last year after it was described to me as follows:
For creating and sharing for beautiful, funny, artistic, interesting or creative moments in your life through your photography and the occasional filter.
That is what I am interested in seeing on it and how I attempt to use it.
Lately I have come across articles identifying certain over-exposed subjects. The best part is I wasn’t aware that people were posting under these themes, even less that it had become a problem. I guess I am not hip with the kids and all, but some of these Instagram subjects boggle my mind.
So in the desire to educate, here are 9 things that you may not know you could have been Instagramming but that you should stop Instagramming immediately or else:
And to make it fun, I am doing it all through Lord of the Rings gifs. Because I can.
- NAILS – Unless you are a professional nail artist really ridiculously talented, why would you post images of your painted nails? Maybe it’s because when I paint my nails they look like a small child attacked them with paint. Why would I show that?
- FEET – I am cool with the occasional feet-in-sand photo to show off your amazing vacation locale. Otherwise, I don’t want to see your feet. Feet are weird.
- EMPTY PLATES – I can deal with the fact that sometimes people show me pics of delicious food that I cannot eat. It is cruel but I can live with it. However, why would you ever take a photo of a dirty, empty plate? That is neither artistic or appetizing.
- LEFTOVERS– See Empty Plates.
- STOCK PHOTOS / PICS YOU DIDN’T TAKE – You are both dumb AND a liar.
- QUOTES – So, you take a picture of words that are part of a picture? Is this some profound inception reference that I don’t understand?
- TEXT MESSAGES/SCREEN SHOTS – How is this artistic? How is your friend’s misspelling something I want to look at through a Kelvin Filter? This is NOT the right platform guys. That is why they invented the Damn You Auto Correct website.
- BAD SELFIES – As in mirror self portraits where I can see your camera phone. Is this still happening really? Hasn’t anyone ever told you that bathroom lighting is TERRIBLE?
- YOUR DESK OR WORKSPACE – And is your desk/workspace something amazing I have never seen before? If yes, then go ahead. Otherwise I know what a mid-toned oak rectangle loaded down with multiple screens, a keyboard, and a coffee mug looks like. I have seen Office Space. (I am also just going to overlook the fact that you are on Instagram at work.)
INSTAGRAM : You Are Doing It Wrong.
Inspired by these great articles: