The Good, Bad, and Embarrassing of Living Alone

I have been living solo in a cute little one-bedroom apartment for just over two years now, just single me and no pets. (Unless you count my cacti.) Most of the time, I absolutely adore it. I love it so much that I sometimes feel concerned about relearning to share space with someone in the future. Is it possible to be TOO content living alone?

There have been many revelations, both good, bad and embarrassing over the past two years. None are particularly profound, but here are 16 thing I have learned living alone.

  1. All Rooms are Multipurpose. Sometimes your clothes might escape their closet boundaries and merge into your bedroom. The distinction between dining and living room can become quite fuzzy. All of your spaces will have a tendency to become multi-purpose if only because no one will judge you for eating chips in bed.
  2. Paranoia TO THE EXTREME! You will absolutely convince yourself that you heard a sound and that someone has broken in and is there to attack you. You will check behind your shower curtain and under your bed, especially after being out of town, to make sure no one has been hiding in wait to do you harm. You may check multiple times before you are fully convinced.
  3. Meals, Shmeals. What you find acceptable to eat as a meal and where you choose to do it may become a little strange. Sometimes eating peanut butter straight from the jar in the kitchen or leftovers as tapas on the couch sounds appealing. Ice-cream for breakfast or edamame for dinner? Sure! After all, no one is there to judge.

    via gifsfln.tumblr.com
  4. Almost Naked, Most the Time. You will find yourself comfortable doing daily activities in various states of undress. Some days you never make it past putting on underwear post-shower. Getting fully dressed when not encountering others will seem pointless.  While the whole “cooking naked” thing seems dangerous, why get a shirt dirty if you aren’t leaving your own four walls?
  5. Fear the Drop-By. There is nothing more terrifying than an unexpected knock on the door or someone asking to just swing by. Most likely your comfortable existence is not ready for the outside world without any lead time to put real clothes on.    Why-I-keep-my-room-messy
  6. Visitors are the Best! Planned visits, however, are fantastic, giving you a chance to really clean up your home and show off your fantastic space. Usually the niceness lasts at least a couple days after, allowing you to bask in the splendor of your beautiful world.
  7. Your Space, Your Style. Especially for someone in the design industry, your solo-apartment is a pure reflection of your style. The great thing is when you have friends come over and declare “This is so you!” The scary part is when new people come by and can see and judge the deepest part of your soul manifested in furnishings and art.
  8. Non-Stop Dance Party. Left to your own devices, you will sing and dance fairly constantly. I would say 80% of the time that I am not sleeping I am caterwauling at the top of my lungs. You may choose to accompany this with really rather fantastic solo dance parties. Hey, at least you will get your cardio.

    via rumorsontheinternets.org
  9. No Free Food. The fridge never magically fills itself with fresh groceries or leftovers for you to poach. After you throw out your second bag of decomposing iceberg lettuce you do begin to understand what you really enjoy eating though.
  10. No Need to Label your Stuff. The fridge will be fully stocked with whatever amazing things YOU put in it and you don’t have to worry about your roomie drinking the last of your milk or stealing your snacks. If you want to fill your house with only beer and condiments? That is your prerogative… no judgement.

    via pandawhale.com
  11. You Want it? Go Get It. You can’t snag an egg from your roommate and when there is no TP, it’s because you didn’t pick any up. You have no one to borrow from or pin blame upon.
  12. Bargaining with Vermin. If you are too wussy to remove/squish them, you many find yourself talking to spiders and the like, bargaining for their lives if they will just somehow disappear back outside STAT and stay far, far away.
  13. The Mirror Doesn’t Give Advice. There is no one to tell you your outfit looks terrible and that it’s going to rain later. The mirror won’t fix your hair in the back, attach the clasp on your bracelet or zip you up. It also probably won’t tell you that you shouldn’t have more wine or that bangs are a bad choice for your face shape.
  14. You Didn’t Want to Eat That Anyways. Some jars will never, ever be opened, no matter how many tricks you find on Pinterest. Let them go and just retool your dinner menu. On a related note, pasta sauce is evil.
  15. Your Body will be Devoured by Feral Cats. I was DIYing and almost broke my nose / knocked myself out. (Don’t ask, I am clumsy) This initiated the uplifting thought of figuring out how long it would take for someone to realize I was dead.

    via fyeahbridgetjones.tumblr.com
  16. Live a Secret Double Life, If You Want. On weekends when I am feeling anti-social I can totally hole up in my home all weekend watching P.L.L. marathons without anyone the wiser. As far as they know, you were living it up on the town. No one to check on you also means no one keeping tabs. See, it can be a benefit too!

So in summery, you will dance around your uniquely decorated apartment in mismatched and minimal clothing while eating strange combinations of food in every room and being terrified of uninvited visitors. And you will (hopefully, like me) love every part of it.

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